“The CAUSE OF DEATH was as follows: Exhaustion of Melancholia”
(1923 death certificate from New Brunswick, Canada)
I feel that if I don’t watch this movie, I am gonna die.
I’ve always said I don’t believe in faith because I don’t like the idea of not being my own life’s owner.
Nevertheless, sometimes I can’t believe some things happen because of my choices. They look way too planned and perfectly coordinated.
So I don’t know. And I am conscious I don’t.
Can I go back to the start?
Start it all over again.
Reset my life.
I’d change so many things about myself.
I’d just choose to look like what I know I like.
I’d do the same choices in what concerns friends because I learned a lot from all of them.
But Jesus fucking Christ I’d not choose to be Italian, to have my family and to live in a little town.
But most of all I’d be blonde.
That’s what matters.
Today I hate myself more than usual which means that in this moment I’d rather die than to live.
I hate my body and I want to change it all.
Why am I not blonde? Why I am not pale skinned?
The thought I will never be able to change these things drives me insane.
I wish I didn’t care but I can’t help it.
I want a perfect body.
As you guys know, I am basically married to Jared Leto though he is not informed about it. Since he’s the copy of Jesus Christ I can officially say that I am married to Jesus Christ.
Jealous or nah?