Show off

I just had a party organized by my family to celebrate my coming back from DC. I hated it obviously. There was nothing to celebrate but my sadness of being in Italy. I had to keep smiling and nodding the whole time and it was exhausting.
Jesus I hate this life here. I miss my real life in DC and people there, the society, the way they think.
Here I feel I’m running out of air. I can’t take a deep enough breath.
Thanks god some of my friends were with me keeping me from blowing it all up.

metanoia dc italy sucks i hate my life homofobia bigotry family sucks friends are family show off

Not at home

I got back to Italy. I want to shout. I am not home. I don’t feel safe or happy here. My house is completely strange to me and so is my family.
I am scared this feeling is never going to fade away.
I miss DC, my real home. I miss everything and I cannot deal with all this now.
I entered my room and I found it full of expensive presents.
I didn’t open them. They scare me.
I cried.

metanoia exchange student come back home homesick dc italy sucks my family sucks my life sucks

On the front porch

J: Are you ok?

M: No. Not really.

J: Yes I can totally tell. You are in a bad shape since two weeks.

M: I know. I am sorry but I can't help it.

J: That's normal. Are you getting emotional about it?

M: Oh yes. More than I like.

J: Yes I figured.

She started to tearing up.

M: Please do not cry. Because if you do, I will do the same and I don't think I will be able to stop.

metanoia cry mom goodbye sadness omg my life sucks